Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – attributed to Einsten
I was writing a long entry about how the phenomenon of black homophobia is a crock of shit, when I found myself having to write this entry first. The Prop 8 thing is not going to go away anytime soon, sadly, and the rift between white gays and people of color (of all orientations) is going to be there for a pretty long while. The excuse of “Well, I was lashing out when I said those things; it’s time to heal” isn’t going to swing this time, mainly because all the rage white gays were spewing was being directed to the wrong black people. Black voters for Prop 8 were hardly reading liberal, pro-gay blogs with calculators and maps of California counties in hand, trying to get to the bottom of all this. You really think Dick Dick – er, Trick Trick – is losing any sleep over this?
A lot of younger blacks have views that run almost polar opposite to our parents’ views, and we’ve taken a lot of shit for challenging their views and telling them flat out that they were/are wrong. I know I’ve moved more than a couple of mountains in my family. Furthermore, a lot of our parents are either very young Boomers, or Generation Jones, arguably the last generation to be directly affected by the Civil Rights Movement. (Generation X would become the first victims of Reaganomics, I would say.) For them, Dr. King is not a symbol or a name. He is not some guy you drag out to win arguments. He’s not an ace card. He was real, and while I certainly can’t speak for all black people, or even all older black people, I can say that that quickest way to get a “girl, hush that foolishness!” is to compare your plight – however serious it may be – to what they went through.
Which brings me to my point. As much as white gays want to blame this on sensitive black people and our need to oppress another disadvantaged group (because we obviously have nothing else better to do), here’s the thing: in the black community, the only thing that you’re allowed to compare to the Civil Rights Movement is the Civil Rights Movement. Black white, gay, straight, son of God…if you are trying to get any point across and the words “Dr. King” come up, you’re probably going to lose your African-American audience, particularly if they’re over 50. In fact, the idea that “as long as we’re not being lynched” mentality has run kind of opposite to our well-being as a whole. I’ll let Tim Wise, the Guru of Interracial Relations, explain why:
…[C]ontrary to popular belief, research indicates that people of color are actually reluctant to allege racism, be it on the job, or in schools, or anywhere else. Far from "playing the race card" at the drop of a hat, it is actually the case (again, according to scholarly investigation, as opposed to the conventional wisdom of the white public), that black and brown folks typically "stuff" their experiences with discrimination and racism, only making an allegation of such treatment after many, many incidents have transpired, about which they said nothing for fear of being ignored or attacked (10). Precisely because white denial has long trumped claims of racism, people of color tend to underreport their experiences with racial bias, rather than exaggerate them.
Now, one’s delicate sensibilities and painful memorities shouldn’t matter any more than one’s religion, and even though the “gay is the new black” motto is lazy and patronizing (“C’mon, you should get it! You’re black!”), it doesn’t take away from the fact that there is only one right way to vote for this issue. It would also be nice if my money tree would start producing $100 bills. The bottom line is simple: as long as white gays keep hoisting up WWMLKD posters and expecting black people to hop aboard the gay rights train, they’re going to stay mad for the next 50 years. It’s not going to work. You’ve been told it’s not going to work. You’ve been SHOWN that it’s not going to work. Therefore, if you keep doing it over and over, don’t be surprised if people like me start to wonder if you have another agenda, one that has nothing to do with healing. But hey, maybe the gay rights movement is getting their cues from third wave feminism nowadays.
And just to show that making very powerful and logical arguments for gay rights is very easy to go without pulling poor Martin out of the grave, I’ll finish with this:
Gay and lesbian people have families, and their families should have legal protection, whether by marriage or civil union. A constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages is a form of gay bashing and it would do nothing at all to protect traditional marriages. – Coretta Scott King
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